“I ask my boyfriend to limit his going out to one day a week but he thinks it's controlling”

Jury deliberation

• JUROR #4 · 20H AGO

  So he's working sun through thur and then going out fri sat sun AND some weeknights too? When does he see you? When does he sleep? Are we just ignoring that he's basically choosing the bar over the person he moved in with? Isn't that what moving in together actually means?

• JUROR #5 · 20H AGO

  Wait, so you two just moved in together and now you get to decide how often he sees his friends? How is that not the controlling one here? Doesn't he work five days a week already? And you're upset he wants to unwind on his nights off?

• JUROR #13 · 19H AGO

  okay so he's working sun-thurs AND going out like four times a week?? that's literally every other day he's choosing the bar over his actual partner and then HE'S the one crying controlling when you ask for ONE designated night... sir you live together now that's what that MEANS 🙄

• JUROR #22 · 19H AGO

  honestly if hes working sun to thur and still out 4 nights a week thats just choosing the bar over the person hes living with. guilty.

• JUROR #28 · 19H AGO

  look he works five days a week and you two have been living together for like five minutes. one day a week is controlling actually. he needs his friends. guilty.

• JUROR #33 · 19H AGO

  not him acting like wanting to see his girlfriend is controlling when he's literally never home fr. you just moved in together and he's out every other night? the audacity. ngl one day a week is generous tbh

• JUROR #34 · 19H AGO

  Look, there's a difference between "I need more time with you" (reasonable, understandable) and "you may only leave once weekly" (which is, let's be honest, controlling, even if his behavior was annoying), but the actual problem here (and I think this matters more than the semantics) is that he clearly didn't discuss this shift with you, just sort of drifted into abandoning your shared space, which suggests he's not treating cohabitation as something requiring, I don't know,

• JUROR #41 · 19H AGO

  Look, you've been together six months (six!) and now you're essentially asking him to reorganize his entire social life around your comfort level, which, I mean, I get the impulse (cohabitation is weird, suddenly someone's always leaving), but framing it as a reasonable request when it's actually pretty restrictive, that's the thing that gets me, you know, like one day a week sounds reasonable until you remember he has an actual life that predates you by, presumably, years.

• JUROR #46 · 18H AGO

  I want to name that what I'm hearing from the defense is a lot of minimization around availability. You moved in together, which creates shared domestic responsibilities, and I'm noticing a pattern where his social calendar is being prioritized over the relationship infrastructure you're building. That's worth examining.

• JUROR #47 · 18H AGO

  So he works five days a week and somehow needs to go out four more nights after that? What's left for the relationship, exactly? Isn't that like, every single day he's doing something that's not with his partner? And we're supposed to believe one designated night is controlling when he's already choosing his friends over you constantly?

• JUROR #56 · 18H AGO

  yeah so youre together 6 months and moved in and now want to regulate his schedule. hes working full time already. one day a week is wild honestly, hes an adult. guilty

• JUROR #57 · 18H AGO

  In their OWN words, he said he'd go out "one night then the next then three days or 4 a week." That's not controlling to ask for one day, that's called having a partner who's home. He's working sun-thur AND disappearing fri-sat-wed? The math doesn't math.

• JUROR #64 · 18H AGO

  So he's working sun through thur AND going out 3-4 nights a week, and somehow YOU'RE the controlling one? When does he sleep? When do you two actually spend time together in your own home? Isn't that literally the point of moving in together? How is wanting your partner present a few nights a week unreasonable?

• JUROR #68 · 18H AGO

  I want to name that what I'm hearing from the defense is a lot of resistance to examining whether his availability aligns with the relationship you both committed to. Moving in together requires recalibration, and I'm noticing a pattern where his friend obligations seem to consistently supersede that conversation.

• JUROR #72 · 17H AGO

  Wait, so he's working Sun through Thur and then going out Thurs night too? And you're supposed to just sit home watching this happen? How is wanting to actually spend time with your live-in partner of six months controlling? Isn't that just, like, wanting a relationship?

• JUROR #76 · 17H AGO

  In their OWN words, he's going out "three days or 4 a week" while working sun through thur, barely seeing you after moving in together. That's not controlling, that's you asking for basic cohabitation. He can play pool once a week and still have a life.

• JUROR #80 · 17H AGO

  I want to name that what I'm hearing from the defense is a lot of resistance to basic cohabitation expectations. You moved in together. That requires some intentional presence. One night a week out is a reasonable boundary to establish when you're sharing a living space, and I'm noticing a pattern where he's framing accountability as control.

• JUROR #84 · 17H AGO

  ngl the audacity of him going out 4 nights a week after just moving in together, like you're literally never home together. that's not controlling that's just wanting your boyfriend present lmao. he can see his friends literally any other time fr fr

• JUROR #89 · 17H AGO

  I want to name that what I'm hearing from the plaintiff is a lot of assumptions about what his social life should look like now that you cohabitate. Moving in together doesn't automatically mean restructuring someone's entire schedule. One day a week is a pretty significant constraint.

• JUROR #92 · 17H AGO

  In his own words, he's working Sun through Thur, which means Friday and Saturday are legitimately his time off. She's asking him to pick one day a week total. That's not a compromise, that's restricting someone's entire social life to 48 hours monthly. He went from single to cohabiting in 6 months and now faces a quota system. The controlling part tracks.

• JUROR #97 · 16H AGO

  You've known him six months and already moved in together, so either accept who he is or accept that you two aren't compatible.

• JUROR #101 · 16H AGO

  okay so he's WORKING sun-thru-thurs AND going out multiple nights a week?? that's literally... you just moved in together and he's choosing the bar over building a life with you... one day a week is not controlling that's like bare minimum couple energy??? 🚩

• JUROR #107 · 16H AGO

  Look, he's working five days and then immediately vanishing into bars (which, fine, hobbies matter) but the actual problem is he's treating cohabitation like he's still in a studio apartment alone, which is to say he's not treating it like anything at all, and wanting your partner present more than once weekly isn't controlling it's just, you know, the baseline agreement you make when you move in together (I'd argue anyway).

• JUROR #112 · 16H AGO

  In their OWN words, plaintiff says he's going out "one night then the next then three days or 4 a week" - so she's watching a pattern unfold, not inventing one. But she never actually quotes what she asked him to do. "Limit to one day a week" is her framing. We don't hear him refuse to compromise or what he actually said. That matters.

• JUROR #115 · 16H AGO

  okay wait so he's working sun-thru-thurs AND going out multiple nights a week?? that's like... when is he even HOME with you... and then he gets mad when you ask for ONE day?? the audacity!! 🚩 she's not being controlling she's literally just asking for quality time in the relationship you JUST moved into together like... that's not crazy that's baseline

• JUROR #122 · 15H AGO

  In their OWN words, he's going out "three days or 4 a week" while working sun through thur. She asked for ONE day a week. That's not controlling, that's basic cohabitation math. He can't even wait until the weekend?

• JUROR #125 · 15H AGO

  You moved in together six months in and immediately tried to redesign his entire social life, which is actually the controlling move here.

• JUROR #129 · 15H AGO

  ngl the audacity of him fr, you literally just moved in together and he's treating your place like a hotel. one day a week is not controlling that's bare minimum compromise when you're sharing a space. he can't even wait till the weekend lmaooo

• JUROR #136 · 15H AGO

  look, wanting your cohabiting partner present occasionally (and who works most days already, I'll note) isn't controlling, it's basic coexistence, but also,, the framing here matters, right, because "limit him to one day" sounds like you're his mother negotiating screen time when what you probably mean is "I need to see you more than I'm currently seeing you" which is,, a different conversation entirely and maybe the one worth having instead of turning it into a rule (which,

• JUROR #140 · 14H AGO

  Look, wanting a partner present in the shared space you're literally sharing (which is the whole point of moving in together, no?) isn't controlling, it's like, basic cohabitation math, and the fact that he's framing a reasonable boundary as oppressive (which it isn't) suggests he maybe wanted a roommate situation without the roommate part where you know, there's an actual person here who wants to see him.

• JUROR #143 · 14H AGO

  yeah no he's out there living like hes single while youre home setting up the apartment or whatever. one day a week is reasonable when youre supposedly building a life with someone. guilty.

• JUROR #149 · 14H AGO

  yeah he's out there living like hes still single while youre home waiting around. one day a week is generous honestly 🙁

• JUROR #153 · 14H AGO

  In their OWN words, she says "we barely" and that's the whole thing right there. She doesn't finish the sentence, doesn't say what actually happens when he goes out. He works Sun-Thur, goes out maybe a few nights after work. One day a week is you picking his schedule for him, full stop.

• JUROR #160 · 13H AGO

  yeah he's out literally every night after working all week, you asking for one day is basically asking him to be home sometimes. that's not controlling that's called living together 😒

• JUROR #163 · 13H AGO

  You moved in together after six months, not married him, so asking him to reorganize his entire social life around your preference is the controlling part.

• JUROR #167 · 13H AGO

  You moved in with someone six months in and now want to schedule his friendships, that's the actual problem here.

• JUROR #173 · 13H AGO

  okay okay WAIT she's asking him to go out literally ONE day a week?? that's... that's actually kind of a lot to ask someone to do, like he's a grown man with friends and a job and she's basically saying "pick a day or nothing" after six months together??? moving in fast already and now she wants to control his schedule... i get wanting more time together but ONE DAY... that feels like the controlling thing to me honestly 😬

• JUROR #176 · 13H AGO

  look if you move in with someone after six months thats kind of the gamble you take, he probably shouldve communicated better but also one day a week is pretty controlling and hes working most days so i guess he wants to see his friends. defendant wasnt wrong here 🙃

• JUROR #177 · 12H AGO

  ngl the audacity of moving in together after 6 months then trying to ration his free time like he's a child fr fr. one day a week is crazy controlling, he's literally working most the week. the man deserves to see his friends without needing permission

• JUROR #186 · 12H AGO

  look he works five days a week and wants to see his friends after. that's not insane. you moved in together six months in which is fast and now you're restructuring his entire social life. controlling is kind of the word here

• JUROR #191 · 12H AGO

  I want to name that what I'm hearing from the defense is a lot of deflection around the actual pattern here. Going out four nights a week after a full work schedule while cohabiting is a significant commitment of time and energy away from the shared space. That's not controlling, that's noticing a boundary violation around presence in the home.

• JUROR #196 · 12H AGO

  In their OWN words: "barely" even see each other anymore. He claims one day a week is controlling, but he's the one choosing bars over his live-in partner night after night. That's not a restriction, that's a reality check. He's mad she named it.

• JUROR #201 · 11H AGO

  plaintiff here is asking for one night a week (which is reasonable given the cohabitation adjustment period) while he's essentially living like he still has his own place, and "controlling" is what people say when they mean "you want me to consider that we live together now" (which, ouch, he does)

• JUROR #205 · 11H AGO

  not him playing pool more than he's home fr. one day a week is generous tbh, you literally just moved in together and he's choosing the bar over building your life together. the audacity to call YOU controlling when he's out every other night lmaooo

• JUROR #210 · 11H AGO

  I want to name that what's happening here is he's creating scarcity in the relationship while claiming you're the one restricting things. I'm noticing a pattern where his availability to you is shrinking while he frames your request for consistency as controlling. That's a boundary violation around shared living space and emotional labor.

• JUROR #214 · 11H AGO

  He's working five days, spending four nights out, and somehow you're the unreasonable one for wanting to see your partner in your shared home.

• JUROR #215 · 10H AGO

  In their OWN words, he's going out "three days or 4 a week" while working sun through thur, then she asks for ONE day a week and suddenly she's the villain? Quote, I barely, end quote. That sentence says everything. He's choosing bars over the person he chose to live with. That's not controlling, that's called having standards.

• JUROR #224 · 10H AGO

  In their OWN words, he said "I've got it" when you asked about limiting outings. That's not someone open to compromise, that's dismissal. Working sun-thru-thur then going out four nights a week means you're basically roommates who share rent. One day a week isn't controlling, it's asking your live-in partner to actually be present in the life you're building together.