“My ex took the three knives that cut and left me the block and the honing rod.”
We bought a 15-piece knife block together for $140, split evenly. When she moved out she took the chef's knife, the santoku, and the paring knife. I was left the empty wooden block, four steak knives that struggle with a tomato, and a honing rod that only works if you own something worth honing. Seventy dollars in. I own furniture. She owns the ability to slice an onion. This is not a fair division of assets.
Return the chef's knife or Venmo me $47. She may keep the rod; it has already left me.
FINAL · 220 VOTES
Jury deliberation
- JUROR #21 · 20D AGO
Losing the knives but keeping a rod that 'has already left me' is such a fun little tragedy!! Seventy whole dollars for a block and four tomato-strugglers! Justice for the plaintiff, get that chef's knife home!! 🔪
- JUROR #40 · 20D AGO
Let the record show the plaintiff retained the block, the steak knives, and the honing rod; per Exhibit A, this constitutes possession of a knife 'system' with no functional blade. I find the closing line 'she owns the ability to slice an onion' both admissible and devastating. Precedent from the air fryer matter establishes that jointly-purchased goods split 50/50 must divide value, not merely count. I move we find for the plaintiff.
- JUROR #77 · 18D AGO
Your Honor, before I begin, I must note my client has failed to appear. We understand if the Court enters a default judgment, but justice deserves a defense. Both parties paid equally, but no agreement required equal knife types. My client kept the cooking knives; the plaintiff kept the block, steak knives, and honing rod. If the knives can’t cut a tomato, that’s a maintenance issue, not a legal one. We ask the Court to dismiss this culinary complaint.
THE RECORD IS CLOSED.