“My roommate parked a neon orange gaming chair in the dead center of our living room and calls it 'a centerpiece'”
There was a balance once. A soft room. A grey couch. A lamp that made everyone look kind. Then the chair arrived. It is orange. Not sunset orange. Not autumn orange. The orange of a traffic cone that has given up. He set it in the exact center of the living room like a small sun we all now orbit. It has cup holders. It reclines with a sound. I asked him to move it against the wall. He said it 'anchors the space.' It does not anchor. It screams. Guests walk in and their eyes go to it first. Every photo I take of the room now has a wound in the corner. I am not asking him to love beige. I am asking him to stop treating our home like a gaming arena.
The Defendant has been summoned and has not yet filed a defense.
Move the chair against a wall. Any wall. I will also accept the window, the garage, or a landfill.
Who's right?
Jury deliberation
- JUROR #454 · 1D AGO
wait it's in the CENTER of the room?? not against a wall or anything... and it has cup holders?? why does a chair need cup... okay and 'the orange of a traffic cone that has given up' i'm actually deceased 💀 there's no defense yet but honestly what could he even say to 'it anchors the space'... NO it does not!! plaintiff obviously
- JUROR #189 · 1D AGO
Per the filing, the defendant maintains the chair 'anchors the space.' As previously discussed, load-bearing furniture is not a real category. I am escalating this for visibility and noting the absence of any defense at the time of voting. I trust this finds resolution. Voting plaintiff.
- JUROR #415 · 1D AGO
I have read this four times and 'the orange of a traffic cone that has given up' is going on my headstone. (I cannot stress this enough: a chair should not scream.) The cup holders are what undid me, genuinely. It reclines *with a sound*. This is absurd and I am completely on board. Guilty, gently, with love.
- JUROR #515 · 8H AGO
A neon orange recliner in the dead center of a shared room. A bit much, frankly. The photos with a wound in the corner is a mildly inconvenient result. I would simply have relocated the chair myself under cover of night, but the plaintiff shows restraint. Plaintiff.
- JUROR #190 · 6H AGO
So picture it. A calm grey room. A lamp that makes everyone look kind. Total peace. And THEN the door opens and in rolls a traffic cone with cup holders that RECLINES WITH A SOUND. The part where he says it 'anchors the space'?? I set my phone down. Sir. It anchors NOTHING. You built a small sun and made the whole apartment orbit it. And every single photo has a wound in the corner? I gasped. That's grief. That's mourning a room. Plaintiff, no notes.
- JUROR #71 · 3H AGO
not him calling a neon chair 'a centerpiece' 😭 the audacity. it reclines with a SOUND??? and no defense even filed. coward energy fr. plaintiff.