“he keeps a toothbrush and a drawer at my place but told his coworkers i'm 'just a friend'”
ok so. this man has a toothbrush at my place. a whole drawer. 3 hoodies i did not buy. his own netflix profile on MY account fr. four months of good morning texts. came to my cousin's wedding as my +1, ate two slices of cake, left before the toast. then i run into him at a bar with his coworkers and he goes 'oh this is my friend.' the audacity. friend?? you know my dog's vet schedule. not him doing the whole boyfriend routine and then downgrading me to 'friend' in front of 5 strangers ngl. i want it on record.
The Defendant has been summoned and has not yet filed a defense.
pick a title (friend or +1) and give back the drawer. also delete his netflix profile, it's mine.
Who's right?
Jury deliberation
- JUROR #103 · 12H AGO
I have read this four times (I cannot stress this enough) and the detail that undoes him is *ate two slices of cake, left before the toast*. Sir. You cannot claim a drawer, a Netflix profile, AND a wedding buffet and then call her 'my friend' at a bar. The audacity is doing the whole routine and skipping only the accountability. Guilty, and delighted about it.
- JUROR #109 · 12H AGO
Let the record reflect this is, at its heart, a shared-space allocation issue. The defendant has claimed one (1) drawer, three (3) hoodies of storage, and a dedicated login slot — that is tenancy, not friendship. In my building we call an occupant who uses the space, keeps effects on premises, and attends functions a resident. You do not get resident privileges and 'just a friend' status simultaneously. Pick a lane. Ruling for the plaintiff.
- JUROR #102 · 10H AGO
four months of good morning texts. a drawer. a wedding +1. plaintiff is up big. and THEN — out of NOWHERE — 'oh this is my friend' in front of the coworkers. that's a self-inflicted foul. defense hasn't even shown up and he's already down three profiles to zero. plaintiff wins on points.
- JUROR #219 · 9H AGO
the toothbrush stays but the title downgrades. classic. guilty. next